countblastula

Our next door neighbor is an elderly woman from an old-world country where they have old-world vultures; Armenia or Croatia or something like that. (She always wears a headscarf, makes her own tabouli and doesn't know the English word for "squirrel".) Whenever she notices us outside doing yard work she comes over to give advice because she's a much better gardener than we are.

Yesterday she said she had an apricot tree that she didn't have room for and asked if we would replant it in our yard "so when I'm gone you can remember that your neighbor gave this to you". Of course we couldn't turn down such an honor, especially after the Ricky Gervais Guide To Life podcast that taught us "a society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." Who wouldn't want society to grow great? Or at least grow apricots?

The problem is, everything we plant in our yard does OK for a few months, then it usually dies and we go buy another plant to replace it. (It's the American way, after all.) So now we're paranoid that the apricot tree is going to die before the old woman does and we will be forever shamed as ungrateful spoiled Americans who don't know the value of nature and think that food comes from the store. We've been rehearsing scenarios in which we replace the dead tree in the middle of the night so she doesn't see it happening, but of course she's sure to recognize that it's not the original tree because she's from the old world and has special old world powers.

*It only took 20+ years of playing in bands, but I can finally say I have a #1 album. OK, so it's only the airplay chart of the local college station; still, there are thousands of other albums out there. Last week Grammy-losers Silversun Pickups were #1 (we jumped 11 notches to overtake them and now they're back at #12) the week before that it was Tom Waits. See? It's usually big timin' stuff. Much credit goes to The Palo Alto Pop Overthrow, which has been a huge supporter since 2008. It's on tonight from 6-7 on 90.1 in the Bay Area and online at http://kzsu.stanford.edu/, so give it a listen wherever in the world you happen to be.

*In other news, Goldie Wilson has laid 9 eggs so far this year. Guad none. Model / rival - Guad, heard of it? Works for parrots, should work for chickens.

*I've discovered a new energy drink called Give Energy. This is exciting because the energy drink market has been collapsing since 2006 with the number of varieties consistently shrinking. I'd say it's about half what it was at its peak. What I love about Give is that it combines two of my favorite things: wonder beverages and self-righteous marketing. I will buy any product that says it helps lemurs or builds windmills or sends money to Africa. It can't just do good stuff though, it has to prominently say so on the label, or else what's the point? Speaking of self-righteous marketing, Three Sisters Cereal is the best new cereal I've found in years. Let's say you love Lucky Charms but don't want to give your money to rain-forest-destroying General Mills? Three Sisters Marshmallow Oaties taste exactly like Lucky Charms only better and they tell you right on the label that they are made using wind energy.

OK, I'm a little late on this but I do have some non-music-related projects for the year that aren't just made up fabrications of my mind.

*50 Book Challenge I attempt this every year and from 2003-2008 I was successful. Last year not so much. I don't really know why other than the fact that I'm a huge rock star with a full-time job and 7 pets and there's so much addictive TV on DVD and Hulu. That's really no excuse though. I'm not using Library Thing anymore because the owner of the site keeps sending me comments about how I'm using it incorrectly by opening a new account every year and if I want to catalog more that 200 books I'm going to have to pay a fee. Oh yeah? Too bad there are plenty of free cataloging sites out there. This year I'm on Visual Bookshelf.

*The Wazu Lion-Cut Hair Regrowth Project It's exactly what it sounds like. Instead of a backyard almanac, we can all watch my cat's hair grow back. I'll be updating it here once a week.

*Redwood City Daily Photo My Fall 2007 Mountain View daily photo series was just about the most fun I've ever had and now that I've lived in Redwood City for almost 2 years I think I'm qualified.

*As usual, movies will be kept track of here, albums here.

It's been 3 weeks, how am I doing on my new year's resolutions?

1. Simultaneously start smoking, stop exercising, start eating meat and drastically increase my intake of coffee and alcohol.

This isn't going to be easy, but I'm taking it one day at a time and luckily I have a great support group. (It's called Charlie.) I have acquired a wonder substance that makes everything taste like bacon, which I've been using on all of my foods, even cereal. OK, so it doesn't contain real pig, or any other animal products; I have to start somewhere, don't I?

2. Spend more money on frivolous crap.

Do you ever think to yourself "I have way too much damn money and not nearly enough bills?" I know I do. Therefore I am going to spend $500 a month on stupid stuff that I don't need, particularly if it is made in Asian sweatshops. I've already got my eye on a foot tanner and a robotic litter box. (Yes, all of my preposterous goods will come from Sky Mall. I will order them while on trans-atlantic flights that I don't need to take, to nowhere in particular.)

3. Gain 50 pounds.

This is proving to be surprisingly easy.

4. Increase my carbon footprint by at least four-fold.

The extra flying and meat eating will definitely help. I know I can do more though. Maybe set up a coal burning plant in my driveway? When I run out of coal I can start burning penguins and people from Maldives because really, what good are they doing anyone in their present form?

5. Watch more corporate-sponsored TV

I've been watching the most mind-numbing shows I can find, because a numb mind is the secret to true happiness. I intend to watch every 2010 show that features: dating, cops, celebrities, cops dating celebrities, dance competitions, giant amounts of babies, people from opposite sides of the tracks, poncy enemies, vampires, extreme sports or Glen Beck.

Completing my trilogy of favorites of the decade (Oops, sorry Stacy! I meant to say "10 year period with the same digit in the second column".) is my 40 favorite books of the '00s. This was the most tedious list to compile because publication dates are notoriously fickle and I had to look almost everything up and abide by what Amazon said was the original edition. In my effort to narrow it down to 40 I instituted a one per author rule.

Books, movies and albums: will any of these exist at the end of 2019? Certainly not in the formats that people my age have grown to know and love. Albums are already on the way out. Music is something you listen to on your phone in whatever order you like. List-making geeks and artistic purists may continue to listen to and record full length albums, but I think they'll probably disappear from the mainstream within the next 5 years. Movie theaters are already increasing their 3-D content and one-night-only live showings in order to convince people to leave their houses. And really, why should we leave our house and pay over $20 for tickets when we can watch library DVDs or Hulu on our big-screen digital TV for practically free without even having to turn off our phones or be away from our pets? So yeah, movies will probably still be around in 10 years but nobody's going to pay money unless it's 3-D (heck, let's make it 4-D, since it's the future and all) or a one-time showing, most likely both. The written word has been humanity's main method of mass communication for thousands of years and I think it will always be around, just not on paper. The last print edition of a book will probably roll off the press in about May, 2017. After that only electronic books will be available, possibly augmented with video and audio and the ability to wire oneself directly into the story using brain scanners and bionic implants.

On the heels of my 40 favorite albums of the '00s list, here are what I consider my 40 favorite movies of the '00s. I guess I probably have pretty low-brow and mainstream taste in movies, but whatever; I like what I like. I don't consider myself much of a movie critic or even a huge fan of current cinema. I only see about 5-10 new releases on the big screen per year and I try to check out 2 or 3 DVDs from the library every week, most of which predate the '00s. (In fact, I prefer movies from the 30s-60s.) Looking over my list, I do think that there were a lot of outstanding documentaries and sci-fi dystopias made in the '00s, which goes to prove the old adage that evil governments inspire great art.

I didn't follow any rules other than excluding the one movie that I appeared in.

If you're not a follower of Facebook, allow me to introduce a new power pop supergroup: Agony Aunts. Our first single is downloadable for free and we hope to record a full length album in 2010.

After much toil and tribulation I have settled on my 40 favorite albums of the '00s. Please note that I did not use the word "decade" (so as not to anger stacyinthecity). However, I think it's a pretty unambiguous fact that the 10 year period which we refer to as the '00s by definition consists exclusively of the years 2000-2009. My rules were:

1. No albums that I play on or that I had any hand in producing, writing or arranging.
2. No best-ofs, single artist compilations or multiple artist compilations consisting of previously released material.*
3. One album per artist.**

I wanted to do 100, but I found out that Amazon Listmania only allows lists of 40, so I decided 40 was good. Sure, 40. Why not? I like Listmania because it gives quick access to song samples and liner note info.

*There are always asterisks, aren't there? In this case it's the Walk Hard soundtrack, which is kind of a fake compilation but mostly consists of new songs written specifically for the movie.
**This refers to the name of the artist, even if in some cases it's the same person or band under different pseudonyms.

2009 Lists

( ALBUMS )

( MOVIES )

( BOOKS )

( EVERYTHING ELSE )

Photos from this weekend's trip to Lobo Castle are here.

( The decade of lists continues. We're up to 2007. )

Before we get to the 2005 tedious lists, a few announcements: The Corner Laughers are playing at the Grant & Green tonight with KC Bowman, Anton Barbeau, Allen Clapp, John Moremen, Paul Myers & Allyson Seconds. I know it's a Tuesday but that is about the finest lineup you're ever going to see in San Francisco.

Yesterday we were the in-studio guests on Rob Black & Your Money. For the podcast, click December 14th - 1st hour. Yeah, I know - why would a stock market guy on a right-wing talk station have the Corner Laughers on? Well it just so happens that Rob Black is not your average AM talk show host. He's relatively young and likes to support local bands and local businesses. He really has no political affiliation, he just loves money (and music).

And in case you don't follow The Corner Laughers' Facebook group, we were recently reviewed by Pop Matters and Blurt; two legitimate music sites, and interviewed by The Dagger Magazine.

( 2005 End Of Year Lists )

( 2005 Nivison Survey )

I found a post in my archives entitled "Tedious Lists 2003, Part One". Although this suggests that there should be a part two or three, none seems to exist. I did find a year-end survey that was making the rounds back then and included that as a bonus.

( 2003 Lists )

( 2003 Survey )

More lists of the decade, you say? These were postmarked December 18th, 2002. I no longer post my year-end lists before the year ends. It seems fairer that way. ( 2002 )

Re-posting of tedious lists from the '00s continues today with my 2001 end-of-year lists. I'm copying and pasting these exactly as they were written, even though in hindsight I don't necessarily agree with all my past choices. For instance, Kitty In The Tree as #2 album of 2000? I still think it's a good album, but I doubt it will make my top 100 of the decade. This one appears to be in survey format, and most likely it was myself who made up the survey to send out to various email lists and bulletin boards because that's how we communicated way back in 2001. The "previous years" categories are instituted here for the first time. As a bonus, I've included the 2001 Nivison Survey (tm) and my top 10 least favorite songs of 2001. I sure do love talking about my own lists that no one else cares about.

( 2001 Lists )

( 2001 Nivison Survey )

( Least favorite songs of 2001 )

Not only is the end of the year drawing nigh; for those of us whose entire existence revolves around making tedious lists there's the extra bonus this year of being able to rank our favorite things of the '00s. (And yes, in the list-making community it is accepted as gospel that the decade begins with the 0 year, not the 1 year as some historians would have you believe.) It's a big job, going over 10 years of lists and figuring out which items have aged well and which should merely be considered embarrassing remnants of the '00s if there is yet such a thing. Unlike in the 90s, I was already old when the '00s started so I really don't have much perspective on the culture, having retreated into my own little world years ago. All I know for sure is that the '00s was the warmest decade in history and that I got married, bought a house, made a few awesome albums and acquired many small pets.

While I'm working on my end of the decade lists, I thought it would be a good opportunity to re-post my end-of-year lists from the past 10 years.

( 2000 )

And just like that we have reached the end of another yard almanac. The change from November to December is the most dramatic of the year on our street, as you'll no doubt glean from seeing all the months lined up.

You might not notice this unless you click "all sizes" and look at the largest versions of the photos but the 6 poppies that we planted in the spring have multiplied and taken over most of the front yard, as we had hoped they would. You might also notice that It's almost impossible for us to keep small plants alive in the backyard. I attribute this to a combination of lack of sunlight and invasion by squirrels and raccoons. We'll probably keep trying though, against the odds.

For posterity's sake and scientific study here are my 2007 and 2005 Mountain View almanacs again. (2005 is only 4 photos across and I'm not sure how to get it to display correctly in Flickr.)

For several years goldenmoonbear and I have had a tradition of watching the entire Back To The Future trilogy on Thanksgiving weekend. This year was the first year that we felt we had a suitable environment in which to invite other people to take part. Photographic evidence is here. It was so much fun that I'm already planning bigger festivities for next year with costumes, live music and maybe even a special appearance by Claudia Wells. But probably not.

Instructions: List 10 musical artists (or bands) you like, in no specific order (do this before reading the questions below). Really, don’t read the questions below until you pick your ten artists!!!

1. George Formby
2. Run DMC
3. Stew
4. Kirsty MacColl
5. Robert Johnson
6. Phil Ochs
7. Buck Owens
8. Tarkio
9. The Loud Family
10. Kara's Flowers

( The Questions )

Happy birthday to goldenmoonbear!

The Corner Laughers have been on a slight "tour" in support of our new album Ultraviolet Garden. So far we've done record release shows in San Francisco, Mountain View and Los Angeles. This Saturday we'll be in San Jose at South First Billiards with The Shebangs & The Bobbleheads. KC Bowman will be also be guest-starring. I'm keeping a running photo journal of our activities on my Flickr page.

The LA show on Thursday was a last minute decision and zimbra1006 unfortunately couldn't make it due to work obligations. We were invited by The Orange Peels who were down there to promote their own awesome new album 20/20. Luckily there was hardly any traffic; we made it in 5 hours, most of which were spent playing "iPod-shuffle-name-that-tune" with jimmi_vacant's iPod. It was an education for me because he has a lot of darker and more aggressive music than what I would normally listen to: punk, thrash metal, gangsta rap, etc.

The show was at The Bootleg Theater and as soon as we got there I kind of knew there might not be much of a turnout. It's nestled away in the ghettos of Silverlake, in a construction zone, and it's not really visible from the street or from anywhere. It was a fun show though. We gave it our finest effort and although there were only about 20 people there, everyone was really nice and supportive. The most heartwarming thing was looking out and seeing a 6'5", 300 lb. German dude wearing a Slayer shirt bopping along and seemingly really enjoying us. Only in LA?